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Sunday, September 30, 2012

To be Safe... and Heard


Feeling protected from danger or harm is something important in life- otherwise, we'd live our lives in constant fear of being robbed or injured at any waking moment.
It's a known fact: "Safety" is a necessity for happy living. 
But, knowing we are safe from physical danger, though important, is not enough. What we also need, that is highly overlooked and under-appreciated, is a safe space to just... talk. 
No, I don't mean finding some secret hideaway on a private island where you share deep dark secrets with a friend at (although, that would be pretty cool!). 
I'm talking about having someone in our lives that we feel we can talk to openly, candidly, honestly and freely without being judged. 
It may sound silly. Everyone has friends and family, right? 
It is possible to have several friends, many acquaintances and a huge family... but, not feel safe enough to open up to any of them. Chalk it up to a personal inability to trust another person or being shot down before when we did allow ourselves to be vulnerable, sometimes we can have so many people in our lives.... but, still feel lonely. 
So, what happens when these things we want to talk about... insecurities, personal problems, conflicting thoughts... have no outlet from our minds?
They build up. And they grow. And they fester. And the negative energy recycles through the body. And they seep outwards as negativity and stress. And then, eventually, you crack under the built up pressure and you find yourself depressed, angry, and on a psychiatrist's couch, walking out with a new prescription for a pill that's supposed to fix it all. 
Many times we find ourselves afraid that the response to our words will leave us ridiculed, lectured, punished... anything but heardwhich is all we really need in the first place. 
I'm going to cut myself short here, because I could go on for a while on this subject because it's something I'm passionate about, which is why I incorporate in to my health coaching practice in a big way. 
Bottom line, here, is that some people have a close group of friends that they feel safe talking to. Others have just one or two. Some are fortunate enough to even have these people as family members! To those that do have these people in your lives, I hope you understand how valuable they are. 

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