Excuse me! Are You Listening??

I felt myself fidgeting, glancing sideways at the clock, mind wandering, head bobbing, not so much in agreement, but as the slightest indication that I was still somewhat listening. Between moments of tuning out, I picked up a snippet of what was just said that held a great deal of depth and profundity. It made me wonder…

What else had I missed?

 

Everyone is busy; so much so that it’s hardly an accepted excuse, anymore.

Everyone has places to be, things to do, errands to run and people to meet.

With the demand for multi-task-ability, it’s increasingly difficult to just be present; to slow down; to give undivided attention to the task at hand. But, as long as we’re only partially-attentive to what’s happening, there must be some great things we’re missing as our minds undulate in and out of present consciousness. 

I started thinking about how I feel when, as I am speaking to someone, I see their eyes darting side to side, their focus everywhere but on my words, their fidgeting and so-called subtle peeks at their watches.

It feels pretty awful.

Like what I had to say held no importance and that I might as well have consulted a brick wall… or bobble head doll.

(So, time to time I’ll play the let’s-see-if-you’re-really-paying-attention-to-me game and embed a blatantly random statement between my sentences. Perhaps I’ll toss in a fun fact about emusas I’m talking about something great that happened in a Zumba class. Head nodding and “mmhmm-ing” continues without a hitch? You lose!)

My point is this: I do respect the importance of each and every one of our busy lives and packed schedules. There is a time a place to for complete and utter consideration. Sometimes, we just want to simply decompress the stuff in our minds by putting thoughts in to words and we don’t expect undivided attention.

Then, there are times when our minds are clearly scattered elsewhere as we “listen” to someone speak when we should question how importantly pressing the other stuff really is. Is it really imperative we think about it at that moment? Is it worth possibly missing something significant spoken to us?

When I was noticed that I was hearing, not listening to what was being said, I realized my rudeness in assuming my “stuff” held more importance than theirs.

So, I stopped the fidgeting, held my gaze and refocused attention to the moment at hand, reallypaying the same respect I would hope to receive if I were the speaker.

After all, that other stuff I thought was so pressing wasn’t going to spontaneously combust into a chaotic disaster… it would all be there when I was ready to pay attention to it. 

Another Reason to Work Out

Exhale, lift, squeeze, hold, release, inhale, pause....

I was so lost in my meditative state, mid bicep curl, I didn't even notice a friend standing a mere few feet behind me, waving for my attention. 

This is why working out is my escape. 

The mind-body connection is, undoubtedly, highly important to pay attention to in order to avoid injury when lifting weights, but often overlooked is its incredibly centering, calming and empowering potential. It is meditation in motion with an added muscle-challenging intensity.

There are many things that drive my work outs and I've touched on them more than once throughout my relatively young blog. I've gone over why I choose not to work out for the calorie-burning effect, the amazing bond shared in a group fitness class, and the joys of trying something new, among other reasons. This reason is more quiet and strength driven. 

When I train clients, I try my best to make sure they understand the reasons for why they are performing a certain exercise. I don't care so much that they can lift something up and put something down- that's all well and good, but we'd both be doing each other a great disservice if I were just being paid to watch that happen. 

I want clients to understand what muscle they are working and why it matters. I want them to focus on the contraction and relaxation of the muscle fibers and mentally hone in on the firing of the nerves. I want them to not only strengthen their skeletal muscle, but their mind-body connection muscle as well. Working out then becomes a total experience.

Within the 24 hours of our day, there is already far too many actions that we mindlessly move through the motions of. Most of our days are spent on autopilot as we repeat the same things, follow the same schedules and carry out the same tasks, day in and day out. Personally, I believe we can all benefit from daily practice of being in the moment, even if only for a few minutes at a time. 

It would all do us good to learn to slow everything down and just breathe. 

But, I get a lot of scoffs when I try to get people to actually take time to sit. And breathe. and do nothing else. 

Sometimes, I don't even have the patience for that. 

So this is my alternative when I'm not trying my darndest to practice seated meditation. 

Exhale, lift, squeeze, hold, release, inhale, pause....

Strengthening my mind as I strengthen my body with every rep, every set, every workout. 

There's nothing like it. 

Ahhh....

Running in 91F Can Cause Temporary Insanity…

Two and a half miles into my four mile run in the 91 degree weather, I pulled back my pace to conserve energy and switched to a light jog, planning to amp it back up once I reached shadier grounds; the sun relentlessly beat down on me with no branches or shadows to blunt its power. At my slower rate, a car passed me by as I momentarily locked eyes with the driver. Instinctively, I created a back-story in my mind and concluded that he had been unimpressed at the slowness of my movement. I found I was mentally defending myself against this make-believe judgment, spewing back that I had run the first two miles at a much faster roll and fully intended to add some sprints at the last stretch. How dare he judge my less than optimal pace? How dare he assume I was a slow runner? The car was miles away by then.

Growing up, I was conditioned by constant feedback, both negative and positive, to gauge how well or poorly I was doing. Grades, piano recitals, play performances, art pieces… all meaningless until after I was told how wonderful or atrocious they were.  I developed a need for validation of my efforts, otherwise, they were pointless. Like any other habit picked up as a child, it was hard to unlearn and un-need validation for my hard work, but it had to be done in order to live a happy life and have healthy, non-codependent relationships.  

Running, lifting, sweating, changing my body and improving my fitness are all personal efforts of mine. I put in a lot of time, energy and all around hard work in to myself in order to practice what I preach and be the best possible version of me. These things are my own- not in competition with anyone (but myself) and not to impress anybody (but myself… sometimes!). If I shave a rep off of a set or knock a mile off of a run I know I can complete, I am only cheating myself out of my own personal goals. I’ve come to know my body. I know my personal bests… how much I was able to lift the last time… how far and fast I ran the time before (and I’ll be damned if this time I don’t match or break those records!). I need no one to tell me how hard I’m working and need no recognition as to if my workout was a success or not. I am my most honest, informed, and accurate critic and I need no one’s validation to confirm or tell me otherwise!

Old habits die hard. Sometimes they creep back when least expected and manifest in the most odd of ways. I ended the mental argument I had been having between the random driver-by and myself, swearing it must have been partially fueled by the sweltering heat. How silly I had been, giving any weight to the opinion of a man that was most likely just checking out to see if I had huge knockers (which I most certainly don’t… sorry to disappoint, sir). After regaining sense (and sanity), I picked my pace back up once out of the unshaded stretch of road and ended my run with a few interval sprints. As I took a lap around the driveway, I felt the endorphins flooding through my body and I relished in the wonders of “runner’s high.” Ahh… yes, that’s right… after the miles have been logged and the time has been checked, that immeasurable feeling right there that only I can experience? That’s what it’s all really about.