Reshuffling the Hand We're Dealt

There's someone in my life that I care very much about who has been perpertually miserable for quite some time now. For the sake of anonymity, we'll call her "Daisy." 

Granted, Daisy hasn't had the easiest of lives, she certainly doesn't have the worst life possible- not even close. She may beg to differ as she's been so immersed in her own negative energy for so long that the half-filled portion of her glass may as well be invisible to her. She believes that the only way her life will be better is if the people and situations that surround her change. 

See the problem? 

It's what I always say: Change your perspective, change your experience, change your life. 

There's only so long we should be allowed to indulge ourselves in self-pity. We can keep our faces long and cry about the cards we've been dealt, but after a while that song gets old and tired. After a certain amount of time, it becomes a matter of personal responsibility to take the situation in our own hands and reshuffle the deck, instead of perpetually staring at the crappy hand. 

The Serenity Prayer comes to mind...

"...grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference..."

There are things we have no control over and sometimes that's unfortunate. Daisy can't change the fact that her family members deal with addiction. She can't magically double her income to alleviate her financial woes. She can't take away her parents' pains associated with old age. 

But, she can change her attitude. She can change how she sees things. She can shift her focus on to what she does have to be grateful for, like a home, a steady job that challenges her ample abilities and family that loves her regardless of her grumpiness, instead of honing in on what's not so perfect. She can stop scoffing at me when I suggest she try these things and realize there is no harm in trying something new that would only do her a world of good. 

Today is actually Daisy's birthday. I gave her a hug, wishing her a good day, and she coldly responded to my open arms with what could hardly pass as a hug. She said, "thanks," as if we were passing strangers. 

Later in the day, I got a call from Daisy's family member ooking for gift suggestions, asking if I knew of anything Daisy needed. 

And all I could think of was...

A smile. 

Lesson from a Happy Old Man

Having just celebrated my 24th birthday, I’m amazed that I’ve made it this far. It exhausts me to even think about another 50+ years of life ahead of me, but don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to see what it holds for me. It is far too easy to get caught up on the things that make us frown and let the simpler things fall by the wayside. Who has broken your heart, what bills need to be paid, how long your current to-do list is… in retrospect, none of that really matters in the long term. Emotions are fleeting, money will come and go and the to-do list will never, ever be a complete to-done list.

There is an elderly man that resides at the Christian Care Center in the town over that has found his way to my heart. Always dressed in an orange overcoat, a green cap, glasses and toting a plastic shopping bag, he stands on the lawn of the care center, watching the cars drive by on the main street, waving at those that take notice of his presence. He has become somewhat of a fixture on the side of that busy road. As long as the sun is shining and the ground is walkable, people have grown used to looking for this simple, yet somewhat odd man. He seems to have come to know certain faces and recognize familiar cars, as he usually appears during peak rush hour times. It is not uncommon for passersby to rap a quaint honk of the horn and give a friendly wave as they roll by.

The simple joy that this man exudes inspires me. All feelings of road rage dissipate once I see him wagging his wrist and greeting all cars that drive past, as if he were a Disney princess on a stagnant float. I wanted to know his secret to happiness. What kept him smiling after all the decades he’s endured?

On a particularly beautiful afternoon, I parked my car, gave the man a hug, and thanked him for always bringing a little light to my day. Through his thick spectacles, he smiled and shared a bit of his soul with me. From his plastic shopping bag, he pulled out two Peanuts’ desk calendars and proceeded to recite the short cartoons aloud, like a story. He explained that every day, he visited his girlfriends in the care center and shared a laugh with them at the humorous quips of the day. He placed the calendars back in to his plastic shopping bag, gave me one more hug and sent me on my way, my heart a bit lighter than it had been.

No doubt, this man has suffered the same hardships of life that everyone must face now and again. Being human, I’m certain he’s experienced anger, sadness, frustration and rage at one point in his life or another. But, despite all the challenges he inevitably conquered in his life, he has managed not to lose his smile. It may be possible that this man might have a few loose screws in his old age (heck, I know I already do!), but his happiness is nevertheless sincere. He shares this sage wisdom as he stands cheerfully waving on the side of the road, charmingly spreading a bit of joy to everyone that passes by.